borges' handmaid

Sun, 04 Mar 2007 17:11:20 GMT

Whatever happens. Whatever
what is is is what
I want. Only that. But that.
--Galway Kinnell, "Prayer"

by and by the way.

Sat, 03 Mar 2007 00:04:14 GMT

for my birthday, my boy took me out to barrio chino for micheladas and small plates. i'd been craving a michelada all day and was only mildly disappointed by the lack of worchester sauce (on birthdays, things like the omission of certain sauces are a big deal). we got guacamole and sea bass ceviche, which tempered the walk to satsko for four or five rounds of sake. then we went to jack's luxury oyster bar for champagne and oysters... and lobster profiteroles and clam & chorizo stew and an off-the-menu dessert that paired another deconstructed take on the s'more and pear sorbet; the chef there is so nice, and i think we must entertain him, being a bit scruffy and certainly a lot lower-income than the crowd that usually goes there. my boy says that my present is still stuck in ups hell, but it's enough that he puts up with me and my little tyrannies.

...yeah, that's all!

get a poem or short story published, submit to the "discovery"/the nation contest (didn't have my shit together, again), ~~apply for the center for book arts' letterpress printing & fine press publishing seminar for emerging writers~~ (sent out this week), start publishing operations for a literary journal (domain name acquired, site launched), ~~get more paid photography work~~, create an online & physical portfolio (acquired domain name), buy a canon 24-70mm f/2.8 lens with cash, pay off my credit cards (finally making real progress!), keep making regular deposits into my savings account, open a roth ira, start an investment portfolio, ~~open separate bank accounts for work & freelancing~~, ace the gres, get into a good mfa program in poetry, fit into 25" jeans, run regularly, do pilates regularly, stop drinking beer, stop eating red & white meat, ~~cook a new recipe once a week~~, read a new book a week, get new glasses, go somewhere interesting, and don't fuck up my relationship (10 months without incident!).

(guide: strike = accomplished; italics = failed; bold = progress)

oh man.

Mon, 29 Jan 2007 23:17:13 GMT

this weekend, i had an excellent sopa de mariscos in carroll gardens and the most beautiful donut in the entire world at the donut plant. there were also jalapeno-infused lime margaritas at chino barrio, beer and olive-and-goat-cheese pizzettas at against the grain, dirty martinis at clandestino, and thai moules frites at le gamin. i'm waiting for paul pope to finish pulphope so that amazon can ship it to me and for my proenza bustier top from target. i might get tattooed tonight... the boy has a tattooist friend who does the most amazing work, and he's setting up shop in his apartment tonight. we'll see how i feel post-gym (i've been working out hard and hardly out working).

jesus, no wonder i'm always perpetually broke.

i'm shooting someone's spring lookbook, and they're paying me in frocks. and the boy got us into cat power at moma this friday. huzzah!

vs.

Wed, 06 Dec 2006 23:47:11 GMT

before i leave for my office holiday party (open bar + lobster spring rolls = HELL YES).

2006 resolutions:

~~i want to quit my jobs~~, ~~move out of this apartment~~, get into the whitney isp program (applied, rejected), get a poem, essay, short story, and ~~photograph published~~, apply for an nea grant (with no real hope of getting one), ~~make regular deposits into my savings account~~, ~~lose 15 lbs.~~, stop drinking beer altogether, get paid for my writing, get another tattoo, go to europe, acquire a polaroid sx-70, learn how to drive, run a half marathon, ~~play darts better~~, ~~volunteer at 826nyc~~, submit to the "discovery"/the nation poetry contest, make a quilt, get a facial, visit my grandparents in china, do more medium format film photography, pay off my american express and at least half of my mastercard, buy a canon ef 24-70mm f/2.8 l lens with cash, catch up on my academic booklist, and ~~have sincere sex~~.

2007 resolutions:

get a poem or short story published, submit to the "discovery"/the nation contest, apply for the center for book arts' letterpress printing & fine press publishing seminar for emerging writers, start publishing operations for a literary journal, get more paid photography work, create an online & physical portfolio, buy a canon 24-70mm f/2.8 lens with cash, pay off my credit cards, keep making regular deposits into my savings account, open a roth ira, start an investment portfolio, open separate bank accounts for work & freelancing, ace the gres, get into a good mfa program in poetry, fit into 25" jeans, run regularly, do pilates regularly, stop drinking beer, stop eating red & white meat, cook a new recipe once a week, read a new book a week, get new glasses, go somewhere interesting, and don't fuck up my relationship.

LKJFSDKLFJSDF

Mon, 04 Dec 2006 16:28:11 GMT

i accidentally left my cellphone at work and came back this morning to find SIX FRAUD ALERT MESSAGES FROM MY BANK. WTF.

also.

Mon, 27 Nov 2006 23:39:20 GMT

i am inexplicably mucous-lite today. my lingering wish for death has also lessened. this pleases me.

i had an okay turkey day. mostly i was grateful for the time off and the opportunity to squander it in willful laziness. i've been eating pretty well lately -- enormous spicy tuna onigiri and grilled squid at satsko, a sake bar on e. 7th, entirely too much yakitori on st. mark's, etc., etc. i had brunch at rose water in park slope, which is down the street from my apartment (i hadn't been since i moved in). my boy had the pear ginger waffle, and i had the monkfish hash, and we were both utterly defeated by the portions. (we're becoming fastidious eaters, which is a good thing, given how often we eat out.) i had a really cracked-out meal at blue ribbon, when i was tripping on robitussin (which i took for legitimate purposes -- remember, the two weeks of mucosal misery?). i always get the smoked trout salad, and i wasn't about to attempt culinary adventurousness when i wasn't prepared to enjoy it. i have to say, though, the roast garlic was delicious and medicinal, and i felt better for it. the oysters were just plain delicious and, um, loaded with... healthy... zinc? yeah, zinc. awesome!

i've also discovered the joys of the housing works used book cafe. i've been a major used book hound lately, trying to catch up on cormac mccarthy's backlist. anyway, i went for the first time today (it's on the bottom floor of my office building, so i can't believe it's taken me this long), and i got murakami's south of the border, west of the sun, which is one of the few murakamis i haven't read, plus a raymond carver collection, and (O JOY! O RAPTURE!) paul auster's new york trilogy as a trilogy. like, a set of three books from penguin's contemporary american fiction series. sigh. that's real happiness, right there. i have a date with my boy there tonight (another indication that we're meant to be together, plus i've got him hooked on susan cooper's the dark is rising series, which, obvs, means we're getting marrrrrrried).

other things: i started a literary journal and am going to shoot the spring lookbook for a clothing label. i'm hoping to have my portfolio online by mid-december. also coming soon: snazzy business cards!

even on the brink of death, i am hell of productive.

young, sick, and uninsured.

Sun, 26 Nov 2006 20:41:21 GMT

two weeks later: still sick.

Tue, 14 Nov 2006 12:15:37 GMT

my life is not awesome. what kind of obscene idiot goes out drinking when they have the flu? THE KIND OF IDIOT WHO NOW CAN'T SWALLOW WITHOUT HURTING.

hic.

Tue, 14 Nov 2006 05:06:24 GMT

microsoft party = completely completely open bar. with food. pigs in a blanket, fries, white castle burgers, chicken tenders. yes, but totally open bar. like anything you wanted. insane.

queens of the stone age? can't describe it. josh homme = UNBEARABLY. HOT. WHY.

i had three different vip passes. it rocked.

ps: this is after: a stella, three whiskey & cokes, a soco & lime, a greyhound, a screwdriver, and whatever my last drink was. my life is amazing! i need business cards bad.

Mon, 13 Nov 2006 23:24:10 GMT

cons: i had food poisoning last week, which totally wiped out my immune system or something because my throat is so raw i can hardly eat, and yeah, i'm almost running a fever. i have so much work to do this week, and i have to cover the zune launch party with queens of the stone age tonight. and i have so much proofing work to do. i think i'm going to cry.

pro: i'm so fucking skinny when i'm sick. awesome.

more cons: i forgot to upload 309823409242094234 digital files (okay, well, it's probably seriously about 100 files) for spin. elsewhere, my timeline for editing went from 60 hours to... 4 hours (really, truly). my body is about to give out on me, and i think i'm just going to sleep in the office until 8:30 and go to queens of the stone age from here. i just had some chicken dumpling soup which was SO GOOD and SO WARM and SO HIGH IN SODIUM. i was going to try to make it out to the trail of dead acoustic set at the virgin megastore, but i think i'm going to end up staying for 15 minutes of queens of the stone age and then go home and cry myself to sleep.

newsy.

Mon, 13 Nov 2006 07:05:04 GMT

last night: wine tasting & purchase of a chenin blanc with claire. mulled wine & shrimp & avocado salad at tenement. chenin blanc with claire & will, caught up on his life, etc. white wine & a shot of soco at home sweet home. as i'm closing out my tab, the (toooootally dreamy) bartender said he couldn't let me leave so early and bought me a pair of drinks. chugged; missed my boyfriend, who's cuter than all the hot bartenders in nyc put together anyway, but who's out of town for a business conference (hence the hell-raising). drinks at botanica, where alison from project runway was drinking and being adorable. then claire and i schlepped up to st. mark's for japanese so we wouldn't die on our respective subway rides home. i can't even remember what i ate. sake onigiri and... some kind of eel? maybe?

this morning: fuzzy. very fuzzy.

this evening: i got a free dresser from craigslist! it's amazing. josh carried it down and up three flights of stairs for me. dude friends = rock.

now: i have so much editing to do but I NEED TO GO TO SLEEP.

Fri, 10 Nov 2006 21:19:36 GMT

i just got this alexander wang cashmere babydoll dress for $80.

well, and two more tops and one more dress that are all so soft and beautiful it makes me want to die and be buried. in a mound of cashmere.

we were young, darling.

Fri, 03 Nov 2006 21:33:32 GMT

cmj used to be the best week of the year. now it's a chore that i cover because i need clips.

that said, the mess hall & we are wolves were both pretty amazing at the spin halloween party. or it might have been the six or seven drinks i had at the vip open bar. as i've always suspected, i am, in fact, a very important person.

feline past lives.

Fri, 27 Oct 2006 02:47:20 GMT

ben kweller, big hassle/ato offices, 26 october 2006.

fyi, he smells really good.

wasted & ready.

Wed, 25 Oct 2006 02:20:27 GMT

ben kweller, webster hall, 21 october 2006.

thanks to the nice gent who let me displace him from his elevated spot by the stage.

photosynthesis.

Tue, 24 Oct 2006 01:43:02 GMT

we spent sunday in cold spring, ny, which lies along the hudson river about an hour from grand central. there are a dozen antique shops in five blocks, and that's basically it. we had sandwiches for lunch and then supped at a french-ish place. he had pork medallions, and i had pheasant two ways and got a free glass of sauvignon blanc because the waiter liked my batman t-shirt so much.

we came home with 100 45s, a vintage sports timer, and a sectioned wooden box, lined with velvet.

...

Sat, 21 Oct 2006 19:44:46 GMT

outtakes from the hennessy artistry red carpet, 17 october 2006.

elsewhere:

Thu, 19 Oct 2006 22:11:50 GMT

http://www.supmag.com/checkit/archives/2006/07/final_fantasy_w.html
http://www.supmag.com/checkit/archives/2006/07/photo_submissio.html

http://www.spin.com/features/ithappenedlastnight/2006/10/061018_hennessy/
http://www.spin.com/features/ithappenedlastnight/2006/10/061012_utiog
http://www.spin.com/features/ithappenedlastnight/2006/10/061006_socoash/

waking up in a pile of ash.

Thu, 19 Oct 2006 22:08:56 GMT

mt. eerie/the microphones, 11 october 2006.

made me whimper, made me beg.

Thu, 19 Oct 2006 22:06:33 GMT

pop levi, rebel, 11 october 2006.

teenage twilight.

Thu, 19 Oct 2006 22:02:47 GMT

ash, the annex, 5 october 2006.

sucks.

Wed, 18 Oct 2006 05:01:46 GMT

covering the red carpet: one of the worst five experiences of my life.

he poos what?

Fri, 22 Sep 2006 18:39:02 GMT

final fantasy, 24 june 2006, tonic.

here we are.

Fri, 22 Sep 2006 18:36:42 GMT

the books, 5 may 2006, northsix.

crazy for.

Fri, 22 Sep 2006 18:30:30 GMT

catfish haven, 8 september 2006, union hall.